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The Paul Mach Blog - April 2008

Living life on the edge... of the road
Photo by Pat Malach

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April 2008

Monday, April 28, 2008 - Race Reports
The championships for the West Coast Conference were last weekend at UNR. Due to the amount of raw emotion present in the Men's A races last weekend I had to split the race report into two parts. I'll start with Saturday's road race.

Same Red Rock course. Out and back twice, for 88 miles. It's a rolly course with a good hill on the way back. The race within the race was for the omnium between Max Jenkins and Nick Martinez.

It was a real party on the way out. I showed off the girl skin on my man legs and Phil was mastering the lyrics to Low by Flo Rida (Feat. T-Pain). It was a real sausage fest actually.

Max finally started things with "season high 5 minute power" on the hill. I attacked about 1k from the top. Soon after I blacked out and woke up in downtown Suffer City sharing a sleeping bag with a homeless man. I barely made it out alive.

Over the top a break formed with 5 guys, all from different schools. It included Max and Tyler. At this point Phil yelled, "Paul, that looks well represented, we're not going to let anything else go." This is when it happened, at 10:41am, Nick worked to pull back a break. For two minutes! Then he yelled at us. Then pulled a little more. It came back with the help of UCLA, but then I counter attacked (haha). Another break formed with 8 guys including me, Shawn, Max and two Stanford guys. At the turnaround Nick had already finished exploring his pain cave and was off the back. You know what they say about small pain caves and small...nevermind.

But things were still a little crazy. Stanford was trying to convince us that since they suck, they shouldn't have to work in the break. Max, doing his omnium leader thing, yelled at them for a little while. I chimed in with, "Whatever, we'll just drop you on the climb anyway." That convinced them to have one guy work and one sit on. We did the same.

At the finish there were some attacks and I ended up on the front with 200 to go. After working all day I was tired and cramping and got swarmed for 5th. The good thing is that Shawn won. Tyler and Phil were 9th and 13th I think.

The crit had even more drama. I mean "Shawty got low low low low low low low low." So stay tuned.

Sunday, April 27, 2008 - General
It's been one crazy emotional roller coaster; I shaved my legs AND won a crit. I've managed to take the swings in stride, but I'm sure a lesser man would've had symptoms of "watery eyes probably caused by allergies or something."

I'll have a race report from the WCCC Championships tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008 - Race Reports
Hairy legsWell it looks like I have some disappointed fans after my last post so I've included a picture of me with hairy legs to try and win you back. It is true that the maintenance will be a problem. I shave my face every 2 weeks so I'm less than excited about shaving my legs more than that.

I've been putting off this race report because I don't have anything interesting to say. It was 70 laps around a block in Berkeley with one corner at the top of a hill and one at the bottom.

I started in the back because I got to the line late. Then moved up slowly over the next 5 or 6 laps. Then covered some moves. Then at about 35 laps in, Tyler went off the front and then I spent the next 30 laps covering moves. Then it was kinda fun. Some Stanford guy would go hard up the hill, blow up and pull off. Then I would "pull through" and then coast down the hill to lose all the time he made up. Then another Stanford guy would give it a try.

With about 4 to go it looked like Tyler was going to get caught so I bridged up. That excited the field and they caught us with 2 to go. I was a little tired from the hard effort and ended up 11th in the sprint. Shawn won and swept the weekend.

This result makes Davis 9 for 12 in Collegiate Races this season. That's right, 3 different UC Davis riders have come together to win 9 of the 12 Men's A races we've entered. That's pretty cool.

Thanks to Greg Moy for this photo.
The Bridge

Monday, April 21, 2008 - General
One leg is deadI've officially sold my soul and joined the ranks of "Want to be Euro Cyclist;" a group including both amateurs and domestic pros.

That's right, I shaved my legs. It all happened last night after the wife had downed some Mike's. She was traumatized at first but is learning to accept that her husband now has the legs of a woman.

It took quite a while, but to quote my wife, "I like to take my time when I have something huge in front of me." Yep, that's what she said.

I've included a picture as proof that I have shaved at least one leg. I assure you I shaved the other one as well.

Sunday, April 20, 2008 - Race Reports
My first NRC Pro/1 race and I finished 34th out of the 100+ starters and about 50 finishers. But like a Euro Pro, "I'm coming off a sickness and am training for a bigger race so I'm content with the result."

It was 31 laps with 320 feet of climbing per lap. Plus it had a 25+ mph wind.

The wind was wicked over the top of the hill and on the decent. On the hill during the second lap I looked up to see the field guttered and going about 10 mph. We were definitely on The Express to Sufferville.

About 4 laps in I hit the front and lit a few matches. Unfortunately, I ended up igniting the whole box and realized that I needed to sit in if I was going to finish this thing.

For the next 10 laps I was the last person going into the climb. I would pass some people going up, on the decent, and head wind sections. Then I would try to recover, which shot me to the back, and be the last person into the climb again. With about 15 to go I was very familiar with the Pain Cave.

The whole time there was a break of 4 up the road. Then, with about 14 to go another split happened and I was in the third and last group and we basically stopped racing. This saved me.

The last half of the race was pretty chill. I tried to lighten it up with some jokes, but Tyler and Jesse were not in the mood. The pros were all pissed they hadn't pulled us yet, but for $74 they better let me finish.

The highlight, of course, was that I decisively beat famed cycling coach Jesse Moore. This one result clearly indicates that I am significantly better then him at everything cycling.

In the next few days I'll post something about the Berkeley Crit that I did today.

Friday, April 18, 2008 - General
Actually, I don't really like it, but it makes my wife drunk. So...

Yesterday during TTT practice Tyler laid down some wisdom.

"My dick makes it look big."
- Tyler Dibble

Another undergrad's attempt to impress a grad student by bringing his penis into the conversation. As is typical, it backfired.

I hope this short post will please my many impatient fans.

Thursday, April 10, 2008 - Research
I passed my qualifying exam today!

Now back to riding my bike.

Friday, April 4, 2008 - General
It has been an up and down week. I started off with the highs from a good race. On Wednesday I got a little sick. Must have been from all those high school kids I was hanging out with over the weekend.

Then on Thursday I made it to the top of the WCCC Omnium for the first time ever, only to be replaced by Max Jenkins a day later when the new results came out. All I get is one lousy day?

I'd also like to let PtotheArker know that "Yes, I have had my 'Dos' today."

For those of you who may think this post is a little off the mark here is some insight.

"You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste.
You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded."
- Michael Scott

Wednesday, April 2, 2008 - General
Recently there has been some chatter on the facebook about me never accepting friend requests. I would like to clarify a few things on this "Facebook Fenominon."

Basically, I have no interest in maintaining a facebook life and I use my unanswered friend requests as a measure of my popularity. I have 27 outstanding friend requests.

Along those lines, I would like to apologize for telling people I had like 30 or 40. I overstated my popularity by as much as 32% and for this I am deeply sorry. I hope we can still be friends (real life only).

Also, should you be worried if your wife says something like this?

"I'm glad you trust me;
it makes it easier to get away with stuff."
- My Wife

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